


a black memory

by artisttsitra03



Category: Sword Art Online
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, Flashbacks, Promises, Romance, Temporary Amnesia, idk what else, it's just super awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 14:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4525518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisttsitra03/pseuds/artisttsitra03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asuna slowly opens her eyes, turning her head so they look straight at each other, the connection between them on a completely different level. “You’re my Kirito-kun, you have to remember.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	a black memory

**Author's Note:**

> mkay, this hardly has any editing
> 
> also, I'm not really INTO INTO the SAO fandom, but I got a pretty good liking out of it, so I'm really really sorry if I didn't do this justice!

           His eyes are slow to open, blinking several times until everything comes into focus. It immediately hits him within seconds. Turning his head, he gradually looks around the room to find some sort of idea, trying to take in everything, but it’s useless – everything is unfamiliar to him. It’s a dark room, there’s no lights on whatsoever. Though, as minutes slowly pass, his eyes are able to adjust to the darkness, and thankfully, the moon from his window begins to shine into his room. Taking the headset off and gently placing it on his thighs, he’s sluggish to sit up though his eyes stay glued to the headset.

            His eyes begin to look around again, desperately trying to get a hint from anything, but nothing hits him. Forcing a thick swallow down his throat, he swings his legs to the side of the bed, slow to stand up.

            Different thoughts – scattered thoughts begin to hit him and none of it makes any sense to him and none of them are relevant whatsoever. Walking around the dark room, he makes his way around to look at his desk, his shelf, at everything and anything in his room. There’s nothing of him though, no pictures of him, no journals, no ID, nothing that can give him a hint. Gritting his teeth, he feels frustration build inside of him, and he has to let out a heavy breath.

            He plumps back onto the edge of his bed, the pace of his breathing completely off. He can feel – he can hear his own heart beating inside his chest. Raising a hand, he scratches the back of his neck, feeling anxiety make his muscles tenser.

            Suddenly, he faintly hears feet shuffling and immediately the door to his room swings open.

            “Onii-chan!” Someone yells as they enter the room. That someone is a she, and she looks as if she’s been jumping off the walls lately. It’s dark in the room and he can’t really make out an image of her, the light is hitting her back.

            He’s leaning back against the wall once she came into the room, he actually kind of jumped. That didn’t help him considering he’s frightened as well, especially with all that’s happening. His eyes kind of widened for a split second before they went back to a normal size, though only because she seemed to make things a bit better. He slowly breathes out, his shoulders barely relaxing.

            “Hey! You’re awake – wait, that means, th-that means you did it! You found her, yay I’m so happy! Are you sitting in such happiness that you can’t manage to move your legs? You’re going to the hospital right now, aren’t you? Here, I’ll go get your jacket!” She bellows, her eyes beaming with excitement.

            Before she can turn and run away on her heels, he quickly clears his throat. Forcing down another thick swallow, he can hear his heartbeat pounding inside his ears again. “Uhm,” he starts, but nothing comes out of his open mouth. His eyes veer down to the floor, he can’t look at the girl, not in the state he’s in.

            Immediately, he can feel the air change between them. It’s lighter and warmer, it’s making his body relax a bit actually. He feels his eyes widen a bit when she bends down onto her knees and looks up at him, her eyes holding such a depth to them. “What’s wrong? What happened?” She softly asks, her voice so gentle.

            “I have no idea what’s happening,” he quietly says.

            “What do you mean?” He raises his head just a bit and sees her confused look and has to bite back a laugh.

            Instead of laughing, he grits his teeth and meets her eyes; he can feel his own lips quiver. “I’m saying, I don’t know what’s happening.” He repeats.

            She narrows her eyes at him, a small smile twitching onto her lips. Her eyebrow raises at him, and he forces down another swallow. “Is this some sick joke you’re playing with me Onii-chan?” She quickly says, and he can even hear her voice shake. She stands up to her feet, taking a small step back away from him. He fights the urge to not reach out for her, and instead watches as she clutches her own chest.

            _Onii-chan. Th-that means, you can’t be serious. No, please, why is this happening to me?_ Taking a deep breath, he crosses his legs and looks up at her. “I wish I could say that, but I have no idea who you are or who I am.”

-

            Things were quickly rushed, from the moment things started to register inside her head to the moment they got onto the bus. It was a cold night when they went outside, he was kind of glad that she gave him a jacket. She didn’t ask him any questions, she probably knew they were going to be useless or she was too afraid to ask – too afraid to know the truth of what was happening. And he didn’t feel like telling her anything, it would just make things worse actually.

           The girl’s name was Suguha, and she was his little sister apparently, not that he didn’t doubt her, but having a little sister was something he always looked forward to having. He gave her a smile when he found out he was an older brother. His name was Kirigaya Kazuto and he was sixteen years old. That’s all he was told at the moment, except that they were on a bus to the hospital for some reason, maybe it was because he didn’t have his memories?

            Once they arrive to the hospital, everything goes a bit downhill the moment they step foot into the lobby. She was dragging the two of them through the snow, her hands tightly gripping his wrists. Kazuto could hear the sniffling from her and he definitely knew what was happening, though he didn’t comment about it – he couldn’t.

            They enter the lobby and he can the doors behind them close and they pause at the front desk. Her eyes are looking down at the floor, and his eyes are looking at her. “You stay behind me, okay? I’ll try to do most of the talking, just try to be calm with all of this. Afterwards, we can get you looked at. It’ll be okay.” Suguha quietly says, her hand barely tightening. He can hear the quivering in her voice, and he feels his heart drop a bit.

            Kazuto nods his head, assuring her with his movement. Her hand lets go, gently dropping to her side, and Kazuto can feel the warmth disappear with her. He tries to give her a soft smile, but Suguha is quick on her heels as she leads him to the elevator

            Once they step into the elevator, Kazuto can actually feel the temperature drop between the two of them. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket, he lets the air between them settle in, but it tenses back up when Suguha releases a heavy breath.

            The floor of the elevator underneath them shakes, and it slowly comes to a stop, the ring of the elevator signaling the opening. Slowly, the doors open and the both of them quietly step out.

            The corridor’s dark and empty, it’s a hospital hallway, so they usually hold that feeling. Kazuto can feel his heart beating rapidly as they walk down the hallway, he doesn’t know why and he can’t manage to calm himself down. He’s strolling slowly behind his little sister as she guides him down the hallway, he passes empty opened doors. Suguha comes to a stop once they reach a certain door, and Kazuto’s curious to know why. If they wanted to see someone about his head, then they would’ve contacted someone on the first floor, but it’s as if they’re visiting someone – who though?

            He watches his little sister take a few deep breaths, taking a few seconds before she decides she’s ready. Turning the knob, she opens the door to let them in, they both slowly step into the room and the atmosphere in it feels warming, Kazuto can feel the weight off his chest disappear. His shoulders slouch down, his tensed muscles beginning to relax. Looking around, he notices no one is in the room, but they haven’t reached the other side yet.

            “Excuse me,” Suguha says, gently pulling a curtain to the side.

            Once that curtain is over to one side, Kazuto feels a light shine in his eyes, a light so warm and so perfect beyond words. The moonlight shines so softly – so purely – so angelic against the skin of the person in the bed. She looks so beautiful, and he can basically see the light radiating off her skin dancing on her, the light shimmering in her eyes. It’s a perfect angle, a perfect angle to see the view of a beautiful woman.

            “Kiri-“ she says, her voice sounds weak but yet a hint of happiness inside it. His eyes veer down to what’s sitting in her lap – a headset. It looks similar to the one laying on his bed at home yet completely different. He quickly swings his eyes back up at her, witnessing a smile of hers.

            “I’m sorry, I’m not in the position to speak, but please excuse me for speaking.” Suguha quickly says. Bending down, his little sister is lowering her head as she bows down, her hands clenched in a fist at her side. “I’m sorry Asuna.”

            Kazuto has to take a step away from Suguha, taken aback once again. Though his eyes are still glued to the person sitting on the bed, and he can’t tear his eyes away. He can feel his heart pounding again, the sight of her is giving him a sensation through his body.

            Asuna creases her eyebrows, her lips forming into a small frown. Her eyes are never leaving his, the connection as if it’s unbreakable. “Um, I can’t really hear you, though I can manage to read your lips, why ar-“

            “I’m Kirito’s younger sister, Suguha. I’m sorry, Asuna.” His little sister replies with a louder voice, her head still bowed.

            He watches as Asuna gives him a small smile, confusion written all over her face. He couldn’t blame her, he would be confused like her if he was in her situation. Her hand raises towards him, expecting to touch something, but it stays in the air, reaching towards nothing.

            He grits his teeth, hate not being to understand what’s happening. And who the hell is Kirito? Was that a nickname of his or something, obviously because that’s what they just called him. Kazuto turns his head away, and he feels the immediate regret as he feels a sense of betrayal shooting through the air.

            “Kirito-kun, what’s happening?” Asuna says, her brows quickly creasing.

            “His memory,” Suguha answers, her voice barely audible. She’s standing straight up now, though her eyes are still staring down at the floor. “He doesn’t remember anything, he doesn’t even know who he is.” She says loudly, he can hear her swallow. He watches as Asuna quickly turns her head towards Suguha, looking back and forth at the both of them. Kazuto clenches his hands inside his jacket pockets, his eyes shutting. “Before I would contact the doctors, I thought it would be best for me to tell you.”

            There’s silence between the three of them and Kazuto can’t stand it. He can’t stand the tension, the uncomfortable words, and the dead silence that’s hanging around the room. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Kazuto exhales through a small o-shaped mouth, slowly opening his eyes. He looks up at Asuna who has tears down her cheeks, so many tears, and she’s staring at him. He offers the same small smile from before for reassuring, but that only makes her cry more. Kazuto can feel his heart clench even tighter at the sight of her fading smile. He takes a small step forward, remembering her trouble with hearing. “You must be someone important to me if Suguha brought us all the way down here. Who are you?”

            Kazuto looks over his shoulder and manages to meet his sister’s eyes for a spilt second, if only it was longer. He watched her eyes turn away from him, they were frantic as they started to look around the room. Biting down on his lip, Kazuto turns his head back towards Asuna who’s wiping her tears away.

            Even though he’s actually the one who’s suffering through this incident, there’s no pain to feel. The only kind of pain he’s experiencing is the inability to not understand what’s happening, what his relationships with everything and everyone is.

            The silence is the only answer she can give, and it makes his heart stop for a second. Kazuto watches as she inhales a deep breath, closes her eyes, and slowly releases it. “I’m Yuuki Asuna, I-I’m a close friend of yours, a _very_ close friend of yours.” Asuna quietly says, her voice is so delicate. The way she said ‘very’ still repeats in his head, the sound of it was different – it was too emphasized.

            Kazuto opens his mouth to say something, but there’s no sound that leaves his mouth and the result is him closing it. Silence, once again, settles in between them and unfortunately, it’s making things worse. “I’ll leave you two alone, I’m going to go fetch a nurse for Onii-chan,” Suguha blurts, quick on her heels to turn away.

            He continues to stand there, his eyes staring deeply at Asuna, the sound of the door softly shutting echoing through the room. Her eyes are staring back though they’re wet with the burning tears edging in her eyes. Kazuto can see the pain she’s holding back, the pain she’s using to hold back her tears.

            “So, you really don’t remember anything?” Asuna quietly asks, breaking the silence. She tears her eyes away from him and turns to look out her window.

            Kazuto manages to let out a sly laugh, raising his hand to scratch the back of his neck. Smiling awkwardly, he somewhat shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, ha-ha, uh, there’s nothing popping inside my head. It’s not even fuzzy or blurry memories, it’s just empty, like a blank canvas.”

            His eyes look out the window as well, watching as thick snow falls from the sky, it’s a dark and quiet night. Maybe it’s the first night of snow?

            “You know, when I woke up I-I, uh, I had on this glasses thing that wrapped around my head. It looked a bit similar to that thing sitting in your lap, what exactly is it?” Kazuto asks, taking just another small step forward. He’s about a meter away from her bed, it’s just the perfect amount of distance between two people, _right?_ He desperately fights the urge against himself to not take a bigger one, a closer one towards her. She’s just a stranger to him, but at the same time she isn’t. It’s obvious that they know each other, otherwise he wouldn’t be here in this room. But he doesn’t know her, that’s all that matters right now.

            “It’s Nerve Gear, it’s a helmet that creates a virtual reality that lets use control our characters inside that reality with our mind. If you just woke up with it still on your head, that means you just logged out of playing a game. Any of that ring a bell?” Asuna asks, turning her head with her eyebrows perching up. She’s obviously hoping for some miracle.

            Shrugging his shoulders once again, Kazuto answers with a small frown. “It actually doesn’t, sorry.” He apologizes, though he feels something immediately click inside his head. “Wait,” he starts, and pauses. Asuna quickly turns to look at him, her eyes wide. “So, if I had that on when I woke up, and you obviously look like you just woke up from the one in your lap, did it happen that we were playing the same game together?”

            Asuna bites her lip, her eyes looking down at the Nerve Gear sitting in her lap. “We were, we were playing the same game together,” she softly says, tears returning back into her eyes. Clutching the bed sheets in her hands, Kazuto watches as her grip tightens, her tears quickly streaming down her cheeks.

            “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. Um, I may not know what had happened inside that game, if it’s good or bad, but it’s okay.” Kazuto quickly says, reaching out towards her without a second thought. He’s bending down, his knees resting on the floor so he’s lower than her, his eyes looking up. He has right hand on Asuna’s back and the other slowly guides the Nerve Gear off her lap and onto the floor. The instant touch on Asuna’s back ignites through Kazuto, and he can feel it run through his entire body. Their eyes meet, and somehow, everything seems to stop around them. “It’s okay, I’m sorry that this is a bad time obviously, but it’s okay.”

            She laughs, she actually laughs, but it’s a forced laugh. Though the sound of it makes his heart stop and the dead weight on his shoulders disappear. He wants to hear it again, he wants to hear the sound of it ring inside his ears. “It really is a bad time, you know. It’s the first night that I’ve been awake, that I am actually in this world again after two long years inside a virtual world. And on the first night that I’m awake, I find out that my best friend, my hus-“ Asuka quickly stops herself, her mouth staying open, just barely though. “It’s that my best friend doesn’t have his memories.”

            Kazuto begins to rub her back, the feeling of it feels as if it’s based off instinct. What’s surprising is that Asuna isn’t stopping him from rubbing her back. Her eyes close again, the view of more tears streaming down her face causes a puncture through his chest, and his left hand clenches into a tighter grip at his side. He can feel knots twist around his stomach at the sight of it, and he has the desire to wrap his arms around her and give her the tightest hug and assure her it’ll be okay.

            “Well, if I’m your best friend that just means you’re my best friend too. I’ll get better and I’ll get my memories back, I promise.” Kazuto says, a small smile touching the tip of his lips.

Asuna slowly opens her eyes, turning her head so they look straight at each other, the connection between them on a completely different level. “You’re my Kirito-kun, you have to remember.”

-

           Three months equals to ninety-one days. That’s the same amount as two thousand one hundred and ninety-one hours. Or perhaps, one hundred thirty one thousand four hundred and eighty-seven minutes.

           That’s how long Kirito’s memory has been gone – has been erased. And that’s how long he’s been suffering without his memory of anything, and let’s just say, it is a _bit_ frustrating. There was a man, a man that obviously knew who Kirito was and there was a doctor. After conversing with each other, they came up with the result of because Kirito was a user of Nerve Gear and has used it much longer than most people, that it could have definitely effected his brain. There are those who woke up from using the Nerve Gear that came out with various outcomes, and amnesia just happens to be one of those outcomes. Unfortunately, due to the amount of time he has spent inside a Nerve Gear, they don’t know how long the amnesia will last.

           These long three months have been a completely miserable time for him and the ones around him. Suguha is trying her best to manage time around him, but without him knowing anything, it’s a bit difficult. Lately, he’s been watching his little sister do a lot of dojo, and it’s pretty interesting to watch her. Kirito sits on the patio in the studio, his legs crossed over each other as he watches Suguha practice, her swings clean and quick. Sometimes, whenever she gets done in the studio and leaves, Kirito will linger around and swing a practice sword, but it’s just for the heck of it. The feeling of it resting in his hands, his tight grip around the handle, the rush of swinging it, the stance he makes, it all feels too familiar, but it doesn’t bring back any memories.

           Probably the only person to feel and suffer as much as Kirito would have to be the one and only, Asuna. There would be these shorts days sometimes, when they would go to the park with each other on their days off, simply talking about what’s been happening in their life. There would be days when Kirito would arrive on Asuna’s doorstep with a fresh batch of cupcakes. There would be the moments when they had each other almost on tears because they’ve laughed so hard about the smallest things. When all of that happened, when he witnessed it pass through his eyes, Kirito always wishes those moments would last for a lifetime, never ending.

           But they also have their own lives, Asuna has her therapy sessions she has to attend to help her get back on her feet and Kirito has his counseling sessions for his memory work. Though, even with all of this little time they have with each other, Kirito can definitely say it’s been amazing. He never thought he could be close with someone like Asuna, the way she moves around him, the way their so comfortable with each other. Just within a few weeks, his butterflies and tensed body quickly disappeared when he was with her, she always was able to make him relaxed. It always surprises him when Asuna knows the smallest things about him, but he always forgets the fact that she’s his best friend, and he’s her best friend.

           With all of this time spent together, there’s the small pauses everywhere. There’s moments where Asuna would catch herself from saying something, something that’s keeping the friendship one sided. There’s definitely a feeling that’s always hanging in the air around them, though it’s never too dense. It’s just a feeling that shows all of these signs, showing that something happened in the past between the both of them. There’s moments when Kirito desperately wants to claw out the answers, but he doesn’t want to intrude about it to Asuna – he couldn’t, not when he’s in the state especially, it could make things worse.

           Speaking of, there’s only a few things in which he can remember, but only a few. There’s moments when he looks up at the sky and sees the bright sun, the light of it and the smell of the air, the warmth blowing through in the breezes, it all feels so familiar. He started to remember the name _Yui_ a few weeks ago, though he’s never spoken about that to anyone, he can’t – he doesn’t want to. _God, is he really stubborn._

           The sound of the name always repeats in his head after he softly repeats it, his mind desperately trying to find some sort of memory, though he can’t manage to find an image to the name.

            _Ki-to._

           “Kirito-kun,” Asuna softly says, bringing his thoughts back to reality.

           Shaking his head, he blinks several times before turning his head towards her. “Hm? What’d you say?” He asks, his eyebrow raising. The name still echoes in his head, and he started to become use to the sound of it after about two weeks of hanging around Asuna. She was the only one who calls him that actually, and he never questions why. All he knew, was that he definitely enjoyed the sound of it coming from her.

            “That’s the usual you, you’re always one to space out and dream. I remember you did that constantly, it always got on my nerves.” Asuna says, laughing quietly to herself. Kirito turns his head to see Asuna lying on her back in her bed, her eyes staring up at the ceiling, her arm stretched out as she draws idle circles in the air with her finger. He raises an eyebrow, quickly becoming amused with her as he watches. “How was your counseling session today? Did they manage to get anything out of that stubborn head of yours yet?” She quietly asks, a smirk on the edge of her lips.

           He laughs a little, showing a small smile. He raises a casual shrug, his shoulders slumping back down. “Not exactly, they haven’t been much help honestly. It’s just sitting in a room, going through exercises that tries to help my brain. It’s the usual, nothing special happened.” Kirito replies, his head softly leaning back against the frame of her bed. He’s leaning back against it, his legs sprawled out in front of him, his hands laying in his lap. “How are your therapy sessions?”

           Kirito can hear a heavy sigh from Asuna and he looks over his shoulder at her. She has a hand lying on her forehead, her eyes are closed. “Hmhm, they’re decent. You’d be impressed, I can manage without crutches now, though they’re still telling me to take it easy though.”

           “Oh thank gosh, now I don’t have to help you everywhere, finally.” He says, showing an exasperated groan, a smile tingling on his lips.

           “You be quiet,” Asuna says, playfully hitting him on the shoulder. “So, nothing is coming out of your thick head, no memories?”

           There’s silence, not because Kirito can’t answer her question, he definitely can, it’s whether he wants to tell her about the name that’s been in his head all of these weeks. Biting down on his lip, he begins to start chewing on it, his fingers twirling in circles around each other. Exhaling a deep breath, he quickly gathers to his feet. Asuna immediately sits up, her eyes curious to of what’s happening, only to watch Kirito sit on her bed, his legs crossed as he’s sitting across from her.

           “Kiri-“

           “Who’s Yui?” He quickly asks.

           Asuna opens her mouth, a hand coming up to clutch her chest.

           “The name’s been in my head for weeks, I’ve tried day and night to get a face to the name, but I can’t. I mean, do you know who that person is?”

           “Yui, that’s the name you remember? Oh my god, you actually remember that name.” Asuna quietly murmurs, her voice so quiet. Kirito can actually hear the tremble in the voice.

           “Wait, what? Why? Uh – is that a bad thing? Is it a name that I definitely should not bring up or something? I mean, you look as if you’ve been shot Asuna, that-“

           “No no no, it’s good. Oh my god, it’s so good that you remember that name. Yui is – um – she’s someone very close to you. I’m sure she would be so happy that you remember her.”

           “Yui is a she? I’m close with this Yui, and I can remember name. I actually can remember someone’s name.” Kirito repeats, the words gently leaving the tip of his tongue. His eyes look down, and he can feel his expression soften, a small smile on his lips.

           Asuna’s hand gently touches his, the warmth from her body is reassuring. He can feel his heart pounding, the feeling is exhilarating and it’s shooting through his body. A quiet laugh escapes Kirito’s mouth, his chest immediately feeling lighter. “Do I ever hang out with any guys? It seems like I hang out with women a lot,” he says, looking at Asuna.

           Their eyes slowly meet each other’s, and he quietly laughs again. She smiles and lightly laughs, and _oh_ it’s such a beautiful sound. It’s a sound that could definitely save lives, and it’s definitely saving Kirito’s life. “No, you never stuck around your friends, if you did, it was only for a short time. You’re a stubborn man Kirito-kun, but that stubbornness lead you to me. It also kept you alive which was good and all, but you did it to protect people.”

           “Hmhm, I’m guessing this goes all the way back into this virtual reality game that I’ve heard about. What was it again?”

           “Sword Art Online you dummy, and yes, it does.” Asuna brings her hand back into her chest, her arms wrapping around her legs as she’s hugging them. “You thought of others when it came to this game, even if you didn’t think you were, you did from the beginning of it. But besides all of that, I guess you just have a thing for hanging out with women.”

           “Uh-huh, yeah right. I’m sure I hanged out with plenty of men.”

           “Oh, so you don’t believe me? Says the one who didn’t even remember his own name three months ago!”

           “Fine fine. Sword Art Online, even if I’ve heard countless stories about it, it absolutely seems unreal. That someone actually made this game where it made over thousands and thousands of players stuck in it in for two years? How is that even possible?”

           “You should not be asking me these questions, you’re talking to someone who was in the stuck longer than you. I literally just woke up three month ago, ahem.”

           “Okay, excuse me for being curious. Alright alright, going back to the game, so being best friends with each other in this virtual world of Sword Art Online, I’m sure we stuck around each other a lot. How many adventures did we go on, did we kick ass?”

           Asuna softly laughs, a hand lightly covering her mouth. “Yes, we did, we definitely kicked ass. I think you’re forgetting the side note that you saved everyone.”

           “Aw, well yeah, I was told that. But I’m pretty sure I had help, I couldn’t do all of that by myself, right?”

           “Hmhm, you were just _very_ motivated to save everyone.”

           “Then that definitely means I had help! You can’t be motivated unless you have something worth fighting for. I’m sure whatever I was trying to fight for, everything ended up okay.”

           Asuna goes quiet for a few minutes leaving Kirito to his own thoughts. _Okay . . . well this isn’t awkward._ Kirito still has his legs crossed over each other and he quickly realizes that he’s sitting on her bed.

            _Wait._ On her bed. With Asuna. Very close to Asuna. In her room. Alone.

           He’s never done this before. _Oh my god, what am I thinking?_ “Uh, I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I Asuna?” Kirito quickly asks, his teeth gritting against each other.

           Her eyes blink at him, her eyebrows barely raising up. “Hm? What – no, um, what do you mean? Why’d you ask if I’m – _oh._ ” She quickly took note of the little distance they had between each other, and puffs out her chest with the quietest laugh.

           Silence settles in, the both of them aren’t talking anymore, and there’s no noise. It’s so quiet that Kirito can hear her own mother in another room talking on the phone, she’s talking to a business partner about lunch tomorrow.

           Then, Asuna breaks the silence with another laugh which makes Kirito relieved. She’s clutching her sweater, her dark red sweater, tears of happiness forming in her eyes. “What are you laughing at, hm?” He asks, crossing his arms, he can’t help but offer her a smile of his own.

           “That you think I’m uncomfortable with you being so close to me right now. Trust me Kirito-kun, there’s been situations that this doesn’t even compare to.” Asuna says, wiping her tears away. Panting with heavy breaths, she can’t help but shake her head with a smile, her eyes now dry from her tears.

           From Asuna’s response, Kirito narrows his eyes at her, her words faintly echoing inside his head. “So what does that mean exactly?” He asks, staring deeply at her.

           “What are you talking about? You’re my best friend, we’ve always been close with each other, Kirito-kun.” Asuna simply answers, not meeting his eyes. She brings a hand up to smooth her long hair, her beautiful long chestnut hair, so silky and such a perfect color for her.

           She’s his best friend, that’s the only response she’ll ever give him. But when he’s around her, when he’s with her, and they’re together, there’s something else. There _has_ to be something else, something else that she’s not telling him. Whenever he’s around Asuna, he feels something.

           He may be dense sometimes, but he can definitely see hints when they’re shown. _It couldn’t be love, could it? Could we have been in love?_

           What brought him back to reality was the sound of Asuna sniffing – she was crying. Shaking his head, Kirito came back to his senses and saw her face stuffed into her chest, her knees covering her face. Her body was shaking, she was gripping her wrists, her grip was so tight.

           “Asuna,” Kirito softly says. He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know how to react to this, he never knew how to react to Asuna’s crying.

           She raises her head, but just barely. Tears, so many tears are streaming down her face, it pains Kirito. “I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard Kirito-kun. For three months, I’ve tried so hard. I know it isn’t your fault, I know that you’re trying just as hard as I am to get your memories back. I just want you to get your memories back, I want you to remember me, I want you to remember all of the memories we made together. I know I’m being so stubborn and so selfish, but I can’t help it.”

           It’s quiet for a few seconds that slowly turn into minutes, and the only sound is of her crying. “Ha-ha, I’m sorry, I bet you don’t want to see me crying like this. I’m sorry, I’ll – um – I’ll just go to the bathroom, I’m probably bothering you when I’m a mess like this.”

            _I’m so sorry, I’ll never bother you again. I should just start leaving you alone now, I’m sorry._

           The phrase echoes in his head, Kirito’s eyes immediately widen. He watches as she awkwardly smiles at him and turns to step off the bed, but he quickly manages to softly grab her arm before she moves, his grip so gentle that he’ll never let go.

            _Kirito-kun, you’re alive, aren’t you? I made it just in time, right? Please tell me I did, please tell me I didn’t lose you._

           “You saved my life then, and you’re saving me now.” Kirito says, his mouth moving as if it has a brain of its own. He stops himself, his eyebrows creasing, surprised at himself that it’s all happening so quickly. “I was being stabbed to death and you saved me.” His thoughts, they’re being jumbled together but there’s thoughts. There’s things hitting him, it’s all coming at him, flowing into his head. “Your laugh brought me back, your soft beautiful laugh is saving me again.”

           “Kirito-kun,” Asuna softly says.

            _I will send you back to the real world Asuna, no matter what it takes._

           His hand falls to his side as he lets go of her arm and she leans in towards him. Cupping her hands, she gently grabs the two sides of his face and tips it upward for him to stare up at her. Her hands are so warm, her thumb softly rubbing against his cheek. Kirito softens his face, a hand placing it on top of Asuna’s. “My life is yours, so let’s be together until the very end.” Kirito quietly says, his voice shaking. He can feel tears escaping the back of his eyes and slowly fall down his face. “You look so beautiful Asuna,” he murmurs, his eyes closing.

            It all happens so fast, the title really does suit Asuna – The Lightning Flash. She’s hugging him and he’s hugging her, they bury their faces into each other’s necks, hot wet tears touching their skin. “I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m so sorry Asuna,” he says, his words muffled through his cries. His arms tightly wrap around her waist while hers wraps around his neck. They press their bodies tight against each other, desperately trying to become closer as possible.

            “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s better late than never,” she softly says. They both take a minute to take each other in, to let the memories flow back into his head, to let every single moment come back to him. As they let go of their hugs with each other, they both wipe their tears with a happy smile on their faces.

            “You’re better than what I ever imagined Asuna, I-“

            She stops him with a kiss, such a lovely kiss.

            Instead of being surprised from it, he sighs softly against the kiss, raising a hand to cup the back of Asuna’s head, pressing their lips tighter. There’s a moan that escapes the back of her throat that makes him more confident, and he takes the chance to nip at her bottom lip. Gasping, Asuna smiles against his lips and lets out a small giggle. The sound of it makes him crave for her more, giving him life that runs through his body, that makes him feel so alive.

            Asuna parts her mouth, deepening the kiss and Kirito can taste the salt from her tears against her lips, the bitter taste, but at the same time, it’s so sweet. He’s sure Asuna can taste his own tears on his lips, but he doesn’t care.

           He can feel her hands snake through his black hair, her gentle touches sending shivers down his spine. One hand guides from the back of his neck to the side of his head, her thumb beginning to rub against his cheek. He lets his hands softly lay on her neck, cupping her neck, tickling her neck, holding her neck. He’ll never let go of her, he’s lost her so many times, and he’s not planning on letting her go ever again.

           It’s not even what he could imagine to what he remembered in the game, it’s nothing like this at all. Then, he’s forgetting it, he’s forgetting what it felt like to kiss his wife, his girlfriend, his love in the video game. They aren’t touching through pixels or a digital network, this is them and now, their real bodies touching each other in the real world. He’s only believing in what’s happening now, he’s with her now.

            Kirito’s the one who pulls back, watching as Asuna slowly opens her eyes. They’re both panting when they break, both of them have a smile of satisfaction. The tears in their eyes have disappeared leaving a beautiful light shining in their eyes, the lingering darkness and emptiness completely gone. “You kept telling me I was your best friend?” Kirito asks, letting out a laugh. He takes a slight notice that Asuna has her gaze fixed on his lips, and he can’t help but slowly move his eyes down her face until they reach her lips. They’re swollen and red, _god_ , did he want to kiss them more.

            “A best friend that I deeply am in love with,” she corrects, holding up a finger. Tearing his eyes away from her lips, he looks into her eyes, the warm soft brown eyes of hers. Smiling, Asuna takes a hold of his hand, their fingers quick to tangle with each other’s.

            “Not even memories can make me forget my only love,” he whispers, his thumb rubbing softly against her hand.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, I'm kind of sloppy when it comes to the romantic stuff. :\ but at least a nice happy ending! :)


End file.
